In 2000 I took a job at Shaw Industries and moved to Chattanooga TN. It was a fun job designing area rugs, and at one time around 2009 I guess, I remember standing at my kitchen sink in my own house and being perfectly happy. I had found my person, and I had a wonderful job that I enjoyed. Everything was in place.
My work crew was a fun and fantastic bunch. We were all around the same degree of silly. They were like family. They cared when I didn’t show up for work, and they showed up for me at my mother’s funeral 2 hours away like my own secret service protectors. We had so much fun and made great products.
That ended in January of 2014 when Shaw decided they would no longer make rugs. It was a huge heartbreak. But you know what? In that 14 years I had made no real art. Looking back it was the kick I needed.
I ended up working for an Indian company after that. It was stressful. I was overworked and felt bullied. I was made to go to India, and I blamed that on a Pinterest board I had made a couple years prior entitled “Mendhi and Other Dreams of India” like I had somehow manifested it.
I hashtagged my trip #eatprayrug, and posted all kinds of cool images. I was still buried in depression from losing the best job I ever had. I was to “get an understanding of handweaving”. You see, until then I had only designed for machines. I learned very little about handweaving. I did learn that nothing could pull you out of a funk like being in a place that was so different. I was lucky to go to India.
I came back and immediately moved into my first studio that I had rented to get out of the house. I went there for work each day and cranked out area rug designs. Surrounded by artists, I started painting and participating in the shows we would have on the first Friday of the month. I’m a better creator than I am a painter, and I felt like such an imposter. I picked up a little plastic loom and made this scrappy little thing.
In 2017 for a group project in conjunction with the Hunter Museum in Chattanooga, I decided I would attempt my piece with yarn instead of paint. The day I finished it, my contract with India was suddenly over, and I also wrecked my car.
Shaw felt like the heartbreak of a divorce. This time getting let go felt like finally getting out of a bad relationship. I took 6 months off after that, and that summer I became more than a rug designer, I became an artist.